Christopher's Fist Blog post

I have realised that some people might be interested to find out how Chris is doing, as he would never start his own blog I have forced him to write a blog post for mine. These are his words:

Here is a summary of things, stuff and occurrences:

Number times I have shared the front passenger seat of a taxi with a nice man: 1

Number of times I’ve shared the back seat of the taxi with 3 (THREE) large mamas: 1

Number of times I’ve fallen over walking down a hill: 2

Average temperature of fufu: >800°C

Average density of fufu: >a large black hole

Number of times I’ve eaten fufu: 4

Number of times someone has yelled “white man” at me: 100+

Number of times children have sang a “white man song” at me while walking down the road: 1

Number of rogue poos that I have seen in my frequently attended pit latrines: 10+

Number of times I’ve times I have forgotten someone’s name: 25+

Number of times a man has held my hand for an uncomfortable period of time: 8

Number of times I’ve been asked if I’m German: 5

Number of times I’ve been asked if I’m American: 5

Number of times I’ve witnessed two rival football managers having a fight: 1

Number of times I’ve been mistaken for Prince Harry: 1

Number of whole bottles of ketchup I’ve consumed: 1.5

Number of bowls of beans I’ve eaten: 30

Number of times I’ve seen a man hit over the head with two live chickens: 1

Number of times I’ve worn wet shoes: 10

Number of times I’ve seen a man chase a goat over a field: 1

Number of times children have yelled “white man” at me from the boot of a passing car: 1

Incidents of major traffic accident near misses: 31

Number of heated arguments with the man from the Camtel office: 1

Number of times I’ve explained the concept of pizza to someone: 8

Number of times someone has talked to me about the occult, black magic, witches and wizards: 10

Number of times I’ve been asked to quote a price to sell Jo to a local man: 1

Price I quoted to sell Jo to a local man: 1 (fairly healthy) cow

Number of times I’ve embarrassed Jo at a football match by being a yob: 4 (per match)